My Youngest Daughter

My youngest daughter, Sha-sha stopped by over the other weekend. She was going to a course and had some time to see us. I have three older kids who live several hundred miles away and I don't get the opportunity to see them much. I enjoy my kids so much. I feel a wholeness when we are together. For me they are all special.

I remember the day her mom told me she was pregnant. We had two kids and weren't planning on having more. I remember her mom looking worried. I'm not sure what my reaction was. I do know that the moment I saw "the little dark haired girl", I fell in love.

Sha came into the world at full speed, from the moment her moms' water broke to her delivery, 3 minutes, tops. Sha has been going full speed ever since. Sha was born in the maternity lounge at the hospital. She delivered herself while her mom was standing up in the middle of the room. Sha would have bounced off the floor had the maternity nurse, with a fantastic, up the gown, between the legs basket catch, not caught her before she hit the floor. (she was pretty slippery as I recall!). "We" wrecked a really hideous throw rug they had.

Sha-sha has always been pretty loud. You definately know when she is around. She does everything BIG! My oldest daughter, Miss K, can slink into a room, virtually unnoticed. Sha on the other hand, has an entrance, usually with several large explosions, trumpeters and fireworks. TaDa! "Let the bells ring out and the banners fly! I'm here, I'm here."

Sha is a cloths horse. Always has been. (She calls herself a "Fashionata", isn't that a"cloths horse from Italy"). Even before she could dress herself, she would pester you to change her outfits 10 times a day. She was the only kid on the block that would change her outfit depending on the "game" she was playing. Office worker, "Classy Comfortable" with a skirt, high heels and glasses. Grocery check out, "Functional Comfort" in dress pants, runners and matching "T", hair up. You get the idea.

Sha was born with a head of hair. Her mom and I wondered where it came from. Her Great Grandmother, told us we would have a girl with a full head of hair. We laughed! The other two were "cue balls". She was "picky" about her hair too! I was putting her hair in pig tails one time when she was about three and got one of her pig tails about a millimeter lower than the other. She went to check my work and after careful inspection, she freaked out, "this wouldn't do, how could she go outside like this". She wanted her pig tails to be dead even and my solution of tipping her head slightly wasn't the solution she wanted. (she said her eyes wouldn't be straight or something....sheeesh) I believe she started doing her own hair from that moment on. Still does, looks nice too.

Sha acts pretty blustry but she has always been pretty sensitive. You forget sometimes because of how she acts, but she is. She's a very happy person when her life is balanced and everybody likes her. She just really cares. She loves her family and has about a million friends whom she relies on for guidance and support. When she doesn't feel balanced they become her support.

I love to watch her interact with her sister. Those two have such a special bond. They know each other really well, they have the whole big sister little sister thing down pat. I know that Sha looks up to her sister and I know that Miss K loves her little sister to bits. Sha's mom and I divorced many years ago and Sha lives with her mom, so I don't get to see those mother/daughter interactions. I imagine they could be quite lively. Her mom must have done OK, because when I look at my daughter, all I see is a well balanced, lovely young lady.

Whenever I see her now I think back to when she was young. Intellectually, I understand that your children grow up and make their own lives. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just that, when I'm all alone, in a quiet place, I miss the little girl I could pick up and hug anytime I wanted. I miss kissing her perfect cheek when she's asleep. I miss her cuddling on my lap in the morning when we'd be up together and everyone else was asleep. I miss those damn pig-tails. I'd love to have more of those moments. Those are the moments I cherish in my life. So, Thanks Sha for taking a moment, I can't begin to tell you how much it meant to me.