I Love Tools....

I got a saw. A table saw to be precise. I've never had a table saw. I have a radial arm saw, skil saw, hand saw, hack saw, bow saw, saber saw, coping saw, fret saw, scroll saw, japanese saw and a back saw but no table saw. I've always been scared of table saws. Don't know where it comes from but just avoided them, too dangerous!

Then I needed some stuff cut, that I couldn't do easily with my skil saw. My brothers have table saws. I took the wood over to my brothers and we cut it on his table saw. At first I would just take the wood over to his house, then I started to borrow the saw and bring it to my place. Then I started to keep it longer and longer hoping he'd have an accident and have to give me his saw. I got some counciling, they said I had to get my own saw. No accidents for my brother I guess.

It took me a while to squirrel enough money, I'm not real fond of crappy tools. I did some renovation work for my sister in law and saved some of the money. I did a bit of wheelin' and dealin' with my brother in law and finally got my saw. It's a portable, as you can see, it folds up and fits in my shop. It looked a lot smaller in Home Depot. It looked so small I thought it would fit in the trunk of my car, the trunk is really quite big. (Annoying buzzer sound! Thanks for playing.) In the box the saw was WAY to big. How about loading it into the back seat of the car. That would have worked, but I couldn't take the door off and I was having a hard time getting my "helper" to help. I was painfully close to sucking up my pride and taking it back inside to have them deliver it (that would have been really embarassing!), when I came up with brilliant idea #74! Why not "Put it on the roof!", plenty of room up there. With Bud holding the opposite side door open and asking why I was taking so long and when could we go and get his dinosaur, I heaved that @$#&*#~ up on the roof (120 pounds my ass, my current wife weighs less than that!). With Bud now firmly planted in the front seat, belt on and asking if we were ever going to get his dinosaur (where is the duct tape?), I opened the back windows and strapped my new saw to the roof. I apologize for not having a picture, suffice to say it looked out of place.

My next dilemma, how the hell do I get this thing home without having to drive on a main road and without having it fall off? I didn't want it to end up on the side of the road, me kicking it, then the car, then Bud. What kind of an idiot puts a box that big on the roof of his car? I just HAD to get it home. I took every back road I could find, turning a 15 minute trip into 45, all the while listening to the soothing sounds of an eight year old asking why this is taking so long and how come he had to come and all the dinosaurs will be sold by the time we get there and OOOOOH, you've ruined my life. I got it home, I got it off the roof, I got it in the house. Whew!

I don't know about you people, but when I get a new "something", I really want to try it out. I like to take it out of the box, read the manual and then use it. I read this article once about delaying gratification. My current wife does this with stuff she buys. We still have a perfectly nice toaster tucked away, still in its box, from 8 years ago. Someone, please explain this behavior to me. My youngest son is like that to. It will take him until Christmas to eat his Halloween candy. My Halloween candy NEVER lasted that long! I'm also a manual reader. I know this sounds stupid to the "non" manual readers out there, but I like to know what my stuff can do and how it does it. Wifey doesn't read manuals, thinks they're for retards. If, after several tries you can't figure it out on your own you should just junk it out anyway. Youngest son, manual reader, good boy! Life got in the way. It took me a week before I could saw anything!

Want to know what it was like? Heaven. I sawed all the wood I had, then I went and bought more. I had a friend bring over his wood and I sawed it. I made piles of sawdust. I had such fun! What therapy. Now, rather than think loving thoughts about my family and friends, I think about what I can make with my saw. I know to some of you this may sound rather shallow but, I can't hear you over the sound of my saw.

For those of you interested, Bud got his dinosaurs, actually, a giant squid and a jelly fish, they weren't sold out, his life not ruined. Someone mentioned the aquarium and well...................that's another story.