My Mom


I woke up thinking about my mom. She was sitting right there beside me so I had a short conversation with her. This probably doesn't sound to interesting, except, my mom died October 1st, 1998. A few days before my 41st birthday. I know, I know, it's kind of wierd talking to dead people. But, when I talk to my mom it really feels like she's there. I'll bet many of you have had close friends or family die and can empathise. Some may wince, "Oh, what a terrible thing". I loved my mom, I remember good things. She had a huge influence on the kind of person I am today. My mom was always teaching me something.

My mom didn't have much of a formal education, grade eight I think, but she had a common sense kind of smarts that I always found comforting. She was a voracious reader, lots of different subjects, always had a book with her. She read so much, I'll bet she had a PhD in something! Even with all that reading my mom couldn't spell to save her life. I remember as a kid how embarassing it was. Now, that lousy spelling, is one of my fondest memories. I'd gladly "put up" with bad spelling to have my mom back.

My mom had what I call the "depression era" mentality. She saved EVERYTHING. She grew up during the depression, she was dirt poor. I remember in my early twenties, I saw a picture of my mom as a child, on the farm where she grew up. The conditions were terrible, I felt so bad for her and so ashamed of myself, that I wept. If I think of that picture now, my stomach tightens. She never blamed anyone else for the circumstances in her life. My mom chose to see something positive in every negative.

I love to watch good mothers with their children. Mothers have a way of caressing a cheek, kissing a forehead or holding you on their lap, that amazes me. It's spellbinding. When I feel down or sad, I see myself on my mom's lap. She has her arms around me and gently kisses my head. I'm four again and there's is no place I'd rather be. My mom was a good mother. The last weekend before my mom died, my sister and I were taking her out to do some shopping. The conversation got onto the topic of being 19 again. My sister and I agreed it wasn't something we wanted to do. My mom never hesitated, she said "I'd be 19 again, right now!". I said why? Her answer, "Then I could have you kids again!" Being around my mom always calms me.

I have often said, "I've seen children take their first breath and a parent take their last. They are both beautiful." My mom waited until all her family was there to take her last breath. You could almost feel her spirit leave. I remember feeling so sad for my family.

My mom was the epitome of wellness. Thanks mom, I love you.

Mike